Like an annoying melody,
Mr. Fuches is back with
FUCHES UNFAMILIAR QUOTATIONS
the 6th volume in an increasingly perverse series
"Poor people get bored, too."
- Chance Boudreaux, _Hard Target_
"What exactly to you DO for a living?"
"Cleaner."
"You mean you're a hitman?"
"Yeah."
"...cool."
- Mathilda & Leon, _The Professional_
"Is life always this hard, or just when you're a kid?"
"Always like this."
- ibid
"I'm not scared. I've been around. Some things in life are out of line."
- unnamed bad-ass villain, _Hardboiled_
"Arguing with a person's faith is like chasing them around a parking lot:
you can keep backing them up and backing them up, but you'll never actually
corner them."
- G.M. Weilacher
"The problem with tolerance is that you have to tolerate the intolerant as
well."
- ibid
"Black people call *eachother* 'niggers'."
"And I might call my wife 'The Booty Monster' but that doesn't mean I want
YOU calling her that."
- B.A. Rothman & B.A. Hunt
"An injury is much sooner forgiven than an insult."
- Earl of Chesterfield
"There are two dilemmas that rattle the human skull: How do you hang on to
someone who won't stay? And how do you get rid of someone who won't go?"
- Danny DeVito, _The War of the Roses_
"Aunt Tobel says that, compared to my dad, I'm hung like a rhino!"
- kid, _Scenes from the Class Struggle in Beverly Hills_
"To call this stuff sophomoric would be an insult to undergraduates."
- George Will, The Washington Post
"...you could have knocked me over with Michael Huffington's brain."
- Molly Ivins, The Post
"There is nothing scarier than a mediocre man with a mission."
- Joel Achenbach (referring to the guy who crashlanded
his plane on the White House lawn), The Post
"I distrust all multiculturalism, liberal or conservative. The Balkans
amply demonstrate the perils of Balkanization."
- Charles Krauthammer, The Post
"To most Americans, the bicycle is no more than a toy. But as our city
streets clog with traffic, it is worth noting that this affordable machine
is still the prime source of transportation for the majority of the world's
people and remains the most efficient means of self-propulsion ever
invented."
- David Lamb, The Post
"Nobody likes the idea of a totally autonomous sub with a nuclear
generator. What if it washed up on Hampton Beach?"
- David S. Barrett, designer of unmanned subs
"Ow, ow, stop, ow...."
- The Simpsons
"SORRY ABOUT YOUR HEAD...!"
- traditional
"There is a First Amendment right to speak in a encrypted way.... The
right to speak P.G.P. is like the right to speak Navajo. The Government
has no particular right to prevent you from speaking in a technical manner
even if it is inconvenient for them to understand."
- Eben Moglen, Columbia U. professor of law and
legal history, The New York Times
"Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping
tom to install your window blinds."
- John Perry Barlow, EFF co-founder,
_Decrypting the Puzzle Palace_
"If five years from now we [the FBI] solve the access problem, but what
we're hearing is all encrypted... the objective is the same. The objective
is for us to get those conversations whether they're by an alligator clip
or ones and zeros. Whoever they are, whatever they are, I need them."
- FBI Director Louis Freeh
"You can have my PGP passphrase when you pry it from my cold, dead brain."
- Adam Justin Thornton
"The Net - a pretty okay substitute for a life."
"If you can't take the heat, get the fuck out of the kitchen. Real men
check e-mail (and news) every 3 hours."
- Casey Cosgrove
"_Wired_ would be on their own 'Tired' List."
- M. Pitely, on the decline of _Wired_ Magazine
"No matter what it is, it USED to work."
- Bill Pemberton, SysAdmin
"The great thing about multitasking is that several things can go wrong at
once."
- Andrew B. Sweger
"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human
history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila."
- Mitch Ratcliffe, _Technology Review_, April 1992
"Well, that's the price you pay for paying no price."
- Alex Heublein
(on having no documentation with pirated software)
"Enjoying life is one of the few things that I really enjoy doing...."
- ibid
"*We do more before 8 AM than most people do their whole lives!*"
- adapted from Army Reserve slogan, by rockclimbers
"Coming in second place just means you were the first person to lose...."
- Jeff Hawkins
"Mmm, two great tastes that taste like shit."
- M. Pitely, on carrots dipped in peanut butter
"Brings back ol memories of being lost in the deep woods of rural germany
in a drunken stupor with nothing to piss on but an electric fence."
- Adam Weishapt (alias)
"Faith isn't faith until it's all you're holding onto."
- ?
"If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so
uninteresting that none of us would be able to endure it."
- Schopenhauer
"I regard you with an indifference closely bordering on aversion."
- Robert Louis Stevenson
"The Pledge of Allegiance says 'Liberty and Justice for All.' Which part
of 'All' don't you understand?"
- Rep. Pat Schroeder
"He who marches joyfully to music in rank and file has already earned my
contempt."
- Albert Einstein, the greatest mind in the history of mankind,
truly justifying the existence of scramble bands
"Bass... funky-ass bass!"
- Fishbone
"It's a poor artist who borrows - a good artist steals."
- Pablo Picasso
"Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality
that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have
told it to the same person?"
- La Rochefoucauld
"The road to hell is paved with good intestines."
- Wayne A. Lee
"It was one of those perfect English autumnal days which occur more
frequently in memory than in life."
- P.D. James
"I have forgotten more law than you ever knew, but allow me to say, I have
not forgotten much."
- Sir John Maynard
"An economist is one who knows 200 ways to make love but doesn't know any
women."
- Nick Kessler
"Oh, yeah, that THUD you just heard was Duke crashing back to Earth."
- ABC commentator, on the Duke/FSU football game
"Now, off to march in the Greenwich Village parade dressed as a tampon...."
- Rev. Trashcan Man, Head Manager,
Columbia University Marching Band
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who
have not got it."
- George Bernard Shaw
"One should not attempt to cross a chasm in two bounds."
- Chinese proverb
"If you don't let me play, I'm taking my ball and going home."
- T-shirt worn by John Kruk, Phillie 1st baseman,
just after having a cancerous testicle removed
"It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them."
- Alfred Adler
"What is a good man but a bad man's teacher?
What is a bad man but a good man's job?
If you do not remember this,
You will get lost,
No matter how intelligent you are.
It is the great secret."
- Lao Tzu
"Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?"
- Abraham Lincoln
"When you appeal to force, there's one thing you must never do - lose."
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
"History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it."
- Churchill
"There are also a lot of nice buildings in Haiphong. What their
contributions are to the war effort I don't know, but the desire to bomb a
virgin building is terrific."
- Commander Henry Urban Jr.
"Another rule of thumb I learned from this weekend: NEVER mix Lite beer,
red wine, white wine, scotch and soda, bourbon and water, seven and seven,
and champagne. It makes you kinda tired."
- Brian "Captain 5-Pack" Hunt
"By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to work
twelve hours a day."
- Robert Frost
"Ecstasy is a glimpse of the infinite; horror is full disclosure."
- Kirk Scneider, _Horror and the Holy_
"The graveyards are full of indispensable men."
- Charles de Gaulle
"The graveyards in South Carolina are full of people who were waiting for
Strom Thurmond to die so they could run for his Senate seat."
- aid to Senator Thurmond (age 92)
"'Boy'?! Who you callin' 'boy'?! I've got a bucket full of balls, a yard
of dick, and enough hair on my ass to weave an Indian rug!"
- some Air Force Colonel
"YOUR MOTHER'S."
- Knoll Munson, on the way back from the Drag Debutante Ball,
in response to the question "Where have *you* guys been?"
"The ShitBox needs batteries - and duct tape."
- Mr. Face
"Our strategy was no good, and we stuck with it."
- famous MarkStrat quote
"Any political group that bashes the poor is neither religious nor right."
- Barbara Reynolds
"I believe in animal rights as well as human rights. I think that is part
of being a total human being."
- Abe Lincoln
"When we kill animals to eat them, they end up killing us because their
flesh, which contains cholesterol and saturated fat, was never intended for
human beings, who are natural herbivores."
- William Clifford Roberts, M.D.,
Editor-in-Chief of The American Journal of Cardiology
"Nineteen year old boys are good for one thing."
- Laylah Silva
"Maybe, but they're not *very* good at it."
"Well, if you get one and train him right, then you never need another one."
- Liz Blankenship
"The problem with being best man at a wedding is that you never get a
chance to prove it."
- Thomas Skogestad
"How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?"
- Satchell Paige
"There is no security on this earth; there is only opportunity."
- Gen. Douglas MacArthur
"Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person
is its ultimate reward."
- Patricia Sampson
"There are two types of people - those who come into a room and say, 'Well,
here I am!' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'"
- Frederick L. Collins
"You can either take action, or you can hang back and hope for a miracle.
Miracles are great, but they are so unpredictable."
- Peter Drucker
"Heaven's help is better than early rising."
- Cervantes
"I'd rather be lucky than good any day."
- Alex Heublein
"It matters if you don't just give up."
- Stephen Hawking
"Never, Never, Never, Never give up."
- Winston Churchill
"The first requisite for success is the ability to apply your physical and
mental energies to one problem incessantly without growing weary."
- Thomas Edison
"The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of persistence
in creating new plans to take the place of those which fail."
- Napoleon Hill
"Any idiot can face a crisis - it's the day-to-day living that wears you out."
- Anton Chekhov
"The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows
brave by reflection."
- Thomas Paine
"He that can have patience can have what he will."
- Ben Franklin
"The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously."
- Henry Kissinger
"It would not be better if things happened to men just as they wish."
- Heraclitus
"...The important thing is: if you fail once, or if your luck is bad this
time, the dream is still there. A dream is only over if you give it up -
or if it comes true."
- Neil Peart
"Never criticise a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes. Then, if
he doesn't like it, it doesn't matter because you're a mile away and you
have his shoes."
- ?
"I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human
knowledge, that has ever been gathered together at the White House, with
the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone."
- John F. Kennedy, at a dinner for all the Nobel Prize
Winners in the Western Hemisphere
"The most popular labour-saving device is still money."
- Phillis George
"If you're there before it's over, you're on time."
- James Walker
"Jello is also a dish best served cold."
- ?
"Life sucks. Get a helmet."
- Denis Leary
"I'm black history."
- Theron T. Jackson, leaving
1/26/95