Mr. Fuches resignedly presents
QUOTES, The Big V
>^0 - "Doh!"
"This cold stands in the canyon for all those who want it, craters on the
moon knowing antigravity, the sun alone in the sky, i love without care who
receives, building a universe without her, spelling a name of god in the
sand."
- J. Brammer
"I loved and held you for all those years
Now you could fill a swimming pool with my tears
I thought it would kill me...
But I'm alive."
- Jackson Browne
"Men have died from time to time, and the worms have eaten 'em, but not for
love."
- Wm. Shakespeare
"Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends.
People fall in love with the most appalling people."
- Cynthia Heimel
"We always deceive ourselves twice about the people we love - first to
their advantage, then to their disadvantage."
- Albert Camus
"Because I am a bastard."
- Ernest Hemingway (when asked why he'd deserted his
wife for another woman)
"Forget your personal tragedy. We are all bitched from the start...."
- ibid
"Remember them as they were and write them off."
- ibid
"One can *never* have a guarantee - and definitely no money back."
- Laylah Silva
"From now on I'm going to wear all of the colors of the rainbow, and fall
in love with someone who fancies me for a change."
- Fiona, _Four Weddings and a Funeral_
"Indifference is the strongest force in the universe. It makes everything
it touches meaningless. Love and hate don't stand a chance against it."
- Joan Vinge, _The Snow Queen_.
"On the outskirts of every agony sits some observant fellow who points."
- Virginia Woolf, _The Waves_
"He jests at scars, who never felt a wound."
- Wm. Shakespeare
"Show me a hero and I will write you a tragedy."
- F. Scott Fitzgerald, _The Crackup_
"Life is a zoo in a jungle."
- Peter DeVries
"A man is a god in ruins."
- Emerson, _Nature_
"It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order
to save us."
- Peter De Vries, _The Mackerel Plaza_
"Work to survive, survive by consuming, survive to consume; the hellish
cycle is complete."
- Raoul Vaneigem
"May some god grant us the power to resign from everything, to betray
everything, the audacity of an unspeakable cowardice."
- B. M. Cioran, _The Temptation to Exist_
"I gave myself to know wisdom.... I perceived that this is vexation of
spirit. For in much wisdom is much grief; and he that increaseth
knowledge, increaseth sorrow."
- Ecclesiastes 1:17-8
"The Lord's angel, Gebrail, dictated to Koran to Mohammed the Lord's
Prophet. What a joke if all that holy book were only twenty-three years of
listening to the desert. A desert which has no voice."
- Thomas Pynchon, _V_
"She drove like one of the damned on holiday."
- ibid
"No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll
see why."
- Mignon McLaughlin
"I never think of the future. It comes soon enough."
- Albert Einstein
"It's not that life is so short, it's just that you're dead for so long."
- No Fear slogan
"Don't forget until too late that the business of life is not business, but
living."
- B. C. Forbes
"A man can be destroyed but not defeated."
- Ernest Hemingway, _The Old Man and the Sea_
"It is not important what you believe, only that you believe."
"When things go wrong - don't go wrong with them."
- Anonymous
"The best way out is always through."
- Robert Frost
"We have forty million reasons for failure, but not a single excuse."
- Rudyard Kipling
"Never let anyone out-train you."
- traditional
"We will either find a way or make one."
- Hannibal (attributed)
"Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live."
- Goethe
"Nobody will fly for a thousand years!"
- Wilbur Wright, 1901
"Send lawyers, guns, and money
The shit has hit the fan"
- Warren Zevon
"Children should neither be seen nor heard from - ever again."
- W. C. Fields
"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx
"God will pardon me. It is his trade."
- Heinrich Heine, last words
"Drink to me."
- Pablo Picasso, last words
"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be
serious when people laugh."
- George Bernard Shaw
"What you were, and what you are to become, will always be with you."
- Q, "All Good Things..."
"I'm still living, and that's enough for me."
- Larry Fishburne, _Boys N the Hood_
"You drift from day to day - years go by. Then a change comes. What a
strange thing to have happen halfway through your life. What luck."
- Johnny, _Light Sleeper_
"And if you're feeling incomplete
The line is stretching up the street."
- Michael Penn, "Bunker Hill"
"The answer is: there are no encapsulable answers. And the other answer
is: you've got to find your own answers."
"Help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever."
- Tears for Fears
"In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts: they come
back to us with a certain alienated majesty."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"A good indignation brings out all one's powers."
- ibid
"For some people, California was still a place of hopes and dreams. The
idea was, if you could just get to California, everything would be okay.
And if it wasn't okay there, it probably wouldn't be okay anywhere."
- Brian, _Kalifornia_
"I guess it's just natural to try and forget the bad things that happen.
You never really do, though."
- ibid
"Oh, it's hard to say when the power's going to be back on? Hard to say,
is it? No, *I'll* tell you what's hard to say: It's hard to say, 'OH MY
GOD, SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME, THERE'S A MAN IN MY OFFICE WITH A
FLAAAMETHROWER!!!!!!!!!', *that's* hard to say!"
- Randy Quaid, _Caddy Shack II_
"Nobody rides for free, motherfucker!"
- Larry Fishburne, _King of New York_
"There are thirty-thousand words in the english language. We can beat
around the bush all day."
- Steve Sorkin
"Playing DOOM cooperatively is like trying to coordinate a fire team
of deaf people with tunnel vision."
- Calvin Lott
"Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid."
- Heinrich Heine
"That life is worth living is the most necessary of assumptions, and were it
not assumed, the most impossible of conclusions."
- George Santayana
"People who have what they want are very fond of telling people
Who haven't what they want that they really don't want it."
- Ogden Nash
"...I would not engage the wombat
In any form of mortal combat."
- ibid
"It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but
it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier."
- Lazarus Long, _Notebooks_
"You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever
count on having both at once."
- ibid
"Do not confuse 'duty' with what other people expect of you; they are
utterly different. Duty is a debt you owe to yourself to fulfill
obligations you have assumed voluntarily. Paying that debt can entail
anything from years of patient work to instant willingness to die.
Difficult it may be, but the reward is self-respect.
But there is no reward at all for doing what other people expect of
you, and to do so is not merely difficult, but impossible. It is easier to
deal with a footpad than it is with the leech who wants 'just a few minutes
of your time, please - this won't take long.' Time is your total capital,
and the minutes of your life are painfully few."
- ibid
"Whatever games are played with us, we must play no games with ourselves,
but deal in our privacy with the last honesty and truth."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Summer, that beautiful green bitch is back."
- Stephen King
"The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger
pain the second time around."
- Herb Caen
"The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus by the Supreme
Being in the womb of a virgin, will be classed with the fable of the
generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter."
- Th. Jefferson
"I know of no safe repository of the ultimate power of society but the people.
And if we think them not enlightened enough, the remedy is not to take power
from them, but to inform them by education."
- ibid
"A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to
take from you everything you have."
- Gerald R. Ford
"Democracy is the theory that the People know what they want and
deserve to get it good and hard."
- H. L. Mencken
"We have rights, as individuals, to give as much of our own money as we
please to charity; but as members of Congress we have no right so to
appropriate a dollar of public money."
- Congressman Davy Crockett
"A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the
support of Paul."
- George Bernard Shaw
"Take care to get what you like, or you will be forced to like what you get."
- ibid
"Those who would sacrifice essential liberties for a little temporary safety
deserve neither liberty nor safety."
- Benjamin Franklin
"A society that will trade a little liberty for a little order will lose
both, and deserve neither."
- Th. Jefferson
"Maybe Jesus was right when he said that the meek shall inherit the earth -
but they inherit very small plots, about six feet by three."
- Lazarus Long, _Time Enough For Love_
"...we do not carry weapons to give us Dutch courage. If a gun makes you
feel three meters tall and invulnerable, you had better go unarmed and let
your sister do any shooting that's necessary."
- ibid
"I hold it to be the inalienable right of anybody to go to hell in his own way."
- Robert Frost
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter."
- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
"We have all come here in different ships, but we're in the same boat now."
- ibid
"I think it looks very unpresidential for George Bush to be cutting and
running like this, but, then, if I'd ruined the economy in just 4 years,
I'd probably be hiding too."
- Clinton campaign official,
on Bush's refusal to agree to debates
"We will make you King, they said. I am King already, Death answered. We
will paint your likeness on all the money of the world. It is there
already, Death answered. We adore you and will not live without you, the
businessmen said. Death said, I will consider your offer."
- Stephen Dobyns
"The mind is its own place, and in it self
Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n."
- John Milton, _Paradise Lost_ I
"We got boats on boats, boats under boats, boats in boats, boats on docks,
boats under docks, docks in boats... it's a real mess."
- Florida salvor, on the wake of Hurricane Andrew
"Son, all the beautiful, intelligent, healthy young women are taken. It's
a basic law of the universe, and if you don't like it, go somewhere else."
- Ken Johnson's dad, 1906-1992
"If you're going to make a mistake, you might as well make it going 100
miles an hour."
- Rick Lantz, Virginia football defensive coordinator
"Yeah, well, there are all kinds of people who are full of shit making a
lot of money - I'm not going to be the exception."
- John Cusack, _Tapeheads_
"WHAT KIND OF SICK BITCH TAKES THE *ICE CUBE TRAYS* FROM THE FREEZER?!?"
- Tom Arnold, _True Lies_
"I'll have a decaf coffee."
"I'll have a decaf espresso."
"Do you have any decaffeinated coffee ice cream?"
"I'll have a half double-decaf half-cap - with a twist of lemon."
"I'll have a twist of lemon."
"I'll have a twist of lemon."
"I'll have a twist of lemon."
- Harris Telemacher & friends, _L.A. Story_
"It's not easy digging a grave, when the guy it's for is staring you right
in the eye."
- Jack, _Romeo is Bleeding_
"That's your shadow there on the wall. You can't get away from your
shadow, can you, Wayne?"
- Mickey Knox, _Natural Born Killers_
"Named for your father, perhaps?"
- James Bond, to Plenty O'Toole
"You're gonna need a bigger boat."
- Roy Scheider, _Jaws_
"Hi, I'd like a *really big gun* that holds a lot of bullets."
"Bless you, my son."
- Christian Slater & gun shop owner, _Kuffs_
"Something happens to you down here, the Agency don't know you. We *miss*
you - but we don't know you."
- The Chief, _Gunmen_
"In cyberspace, the lunatics not only run the asylum, but they helped build
it, which may explain why no one has been able to shut down or control it."
- Richard Kadrey, _Wired_ Magazine
POZZO: He used to dance the farandole, the fling, the brawl, the jig,
the fandango and even the hornpipe. He capered. For joy. Now
that's the best he can do. Do you know what he calls it?
ESTRAGON: The Scapegoat's Agony.
VLADIMIR: The Hard Stool.
POZZO: The Net. He thinks he's entangled in a net.
- S. Beckett, _Waiting for Godot_
"Your case will be decided by twelve people who weren't smart enough to get
out of jury duty."
- Norman Yarvin
"Oh, your father is dead, and your mother is sick, and your brother is
dead, and your brother is dead, and your brother is dead, and your kid has
one leg, and your wife is a drunk, and your car doesn't float."
- The Ted Kennedy Drinking Song
"You Suck! You All Suck!!"
- title of the Columbia University Marching Band newsletter
"There is no place in New York for Columbia University and it's Marching Band."
- former NYC Mayor Ed Koch
"Terminally ill with cancer, Colombian defender Andres Escobar knocks the
ball into his own goal on the advice of his doctor, Jack Kevorkian."
- caption in the Washington Post
"Well, dinner would have been splendid... if the wine had been as cold
as the soup, the beef as rare as the service, the brandy as old as the
fish, and the maid as willing as the Duchess."
- Winston S. Churchill
"When you start to feel
You've been bit by an eel -
That's a moray..."
- Scott Brigham
"Question #1: How do you keep bears away?
Wear bells so they hear you coming as you walk in the woods.
Question #2: How do you tell the difference between Grizzly and black bear
shit?
Grizzly bear shit has bells in it."
- Rob Boudrie
"Money isn't everything. I've got money and I've got everything, and
they're not the same."
- Robert Maxwell
"Sick days are the same as vacation days, but with sound effects."
- Dogbert
"Life's a pretty good ride. Let's get in line, and let's damn well sit in
the front car."
"Men Wanted for Dangerous Expedition: Low Wages for Long Hours of Arduous
Labour under Brutal Conditions; Months of Continual Darkness and Extreme
Cold; Great Risk to Life and Limb from Disease, Accidents and Other Hazards;
Small Chance of Fame in Case of Success."
- Sir Ernest Shackleton, explorer
"It turns out you CAN beat a great pair of Legg's."
- Ken McFarlane of the Penn Band, after the Nancy
Kerrigan incident
"Black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love."
- traditional Turkish description of good coffee
"...coffee is a socially acceptable, stimulating, and addictive drink that
helps keep you awake and alert at practically no caloric cost - only 5
calories a cup. Coffee, in fact, comes closer than any other part of the
typical American diet to giving us something for nothing."
- _Jayne Brody's Nutrition Book_
"We would all be better off if we stopped thinking of vegetables and grains
as merely side dishes to embellish a chunk of animal...."
- ibid
"I have no doubt that it is a part of the destiny of the human race, in its
gradual improvement, to leave off eating animals"
- Thoreau
"Let's assume, ladies and gentlemen, that man isn't stupid. (For indeed,
if we say his is stupid, whom will we be able to call intelligent?) But
even if he isn't stupid, he is still monstrously ungrateful. Phenomenally
so! I would even say that the best definition of man is: ungrateful biped.
But this is still not his main defect. His main defect is his chronic
perversity, an affliction from which he has suffered throughout history,
from the Flood through the Schleswig-Holstein crisis."
- F. Dosoyevsky, _Notes From Underground_
"With consciousness, we have nothing much to do either, but we can at least
lacerate ourselves from time to time, which does liven things up a bit. It
may go against progress, but it's better than nothing."
- ibid
"Heav'n but the Vision of fulfill'd Desire,
And Hell the Shadow from a Soul on fire,
Cast on the Darkness into which Ourselves,
So late emerged from, shall so soon expire."
- Omar Khayyam, _Rubaiyat_
"Ah, with Grape my fading Life provide,
And wash the Body whence the Life has died,
And lay me, shrouded in the living Leaf,
By some not unfrequented Garden-side."
- ibid
"Never despair; but if you do, work on in despair."
- Burke (1729-1797)
"Presume not that I am the thing I was."
- Shakespeare, _II Henry IV_
"Sad to say, I must be on me way
So buy me beer or whiskey 'cause I'm going far away
I'd like to think I'll be returning when I can...."
- The Pogues
"Life goes on, reports indicate."
September 7, 1994