Radios are not affected when a drunk runs into a telephone pole.
-CSG Wireless advertising factoid
To succeed in the modern world is to invite the relentless and
bloodthirsty attention of the press, whose members gain far more fame by
covering catastrophe than by covering success. (Hence the longevity of
Whitewater, which will be remembered as the longest and most futile search
for Pulitzer Prizes in all of history.)
-Fred Moody, Seattle Weekly
Bits is bits, stupid - the more the better - just move them from here
to there and be quick about it.
-Bill Frezza, Network Computing
I think we should not forget that the concerns that India has are very
real. This may not be the best way to respond to it, but they live in a
very rough neighborhood.
-Fareed Zakharia, Foreign Affairs, on Indian nuclear testing
You can give my dictionary to your users, to your customers, to your
boss. You can even give it to your kids to let them understand what you
do. They'll then understand why you, too, have no life.
-Harry Newton, Introduction to Newton's Telecom Dictionary
[He's] finally better after projectile vomiting so hard that it
came back up and stuck his eyelids together. It was really cool, unfortunately
it just induced more vomiting. Stay away from the beef at 'South of the
Border'.
-Roy Stephan
I have come to realize that my previous company was noticeably devoid
of a company boat.
-George Weilacher
Our job is to help them suck less.
-Tom Walton
BORK BORK BORK FREE THE INTERNET BORK BORK BORK
-MCI Route Arbiter Database Entry at MAE-East
It seems clear that it will be very hard to increase browser marketshare
on the merits of IE4 alone. It will be more important to leverage the OS
asset to make people use IE instead of Navigator.
-Christian Wildfeuer, Microsoft Windows Product Manager (from DOJ evidence)
Human evolution is directly related to the consumption of meat.
When we started eating flesh, we started getting clever.
-Ted Nugent
America Online is the first true power in the Internet era. Because
it realized that it is much better to have lots of unhappy customers than
a few happy ones.
-Jesse Berst
It's ironic that India has weapons capable of destroying the world but
they can't secure a little web server which is connected to their networks.
-Keystroke, a member of Milw0rm, the group that hacked an Indian nuclear
research facility shortly after that country's nuclear tests
Why not just carve up the government into private non-profit organizations
and be done with it all? We are creating the most significant jurisdiction
since the Louisiana purchase, and we are building it outside the review
of the Constitution.
-Harvard Law Professor Lawrence Lessig, on new domain name plans
Everyone is scared except the criminals. The way to change that
is to give the criminals something to be afraid of. That thing is a well-armed
public.
-Sen. Trent Lott (R - Miss)
I am a transcendental pan-galactic engineering weenie, thank you
very much.
-Tom Walton
Odd age we live in. I call my mother now to tell her to check
her email.
-Darby Kimball
We're flattered Cisco is using our technology, but we expect them
to pay for it.
-Lucent Technologies, 1998
Wit is educated insolence.
- Aristotle
You've got 1911 shopping days to get your wireless handheld, or
be held in scorn by the world's digital elite. You've been warned.
-Jesse Berst, June 23, 1998
User demand always outweighs technical elegance.
-Tim Wilson
I love to see guys who chew and never smile. And when they take
off their hat and they're bald - and they don't care. I love the game.
-Mario Cuomo on Baseball
I don't conceive it as my job as the Mayor to lose valuable New
York institutions.
-Rudy Guiliani on the Yankees threatened move to New Jersey
But i have coffee. The day might get better.
-Darby Kimball
So it was a silent art auction full of hundreds of really young,
really wealthy, really trendy people with way too much money to spend on
crappy art.
-Elaine Cipriano
It feels good, like a security blanket. It's power. It's something
you've never felt before - because it can kill someone.
-Sgt. Gerard Martinez on the M-16
To be happy on the Fourth
Buy a fifth
On the third.
-Linda Mount
I still want to be charged with Offending the Dead.
-Ivan Kotcher
Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
-(Unknown)
I’ve always said, give me 15 runs and airtight defense, and I’ll
take my chances.
-Bret Saberhagen, Boston Red Sox
It’s weird, but it’s baseball. Baseball is an amazing game. You’ve
never seen everything.
-Mike Benjamin, Boston Red Sox
Except for the fact that two of my girls have decided to be lesbians,
my ADD child is foaming at the mouth by 1:00 every afternoon, and my boys
want to dance with me during every break, things are going well.
-Emily Domalski
I also think I need a good pair of sneakers and a police scanner
so I can chase those ambulances.
-Jim Steinkrauss, reacting to his grades after 1 year of Law School
They had to give me directions from the bullpen how to get back
out there. They just said go to the bump. It took me a second, but I found
it.
-Mike Stanton (P-Yankees), on his first outing since his 5 game suspension
We need to come up with a new technique, called "Quantum Tunneling
Market Analysis."
-Tom Walton
This is solid. -Evan Macbeth
No it's not. It's horseshit...in a vat so deep we're stirring it with
an oar.
-Tom Walton (on market revenue/size modeling)
Unwind. Live a little. Have a beer and beat-off. Unless it's a
religious thing. Then just have the beer.
-George Weilecher
Overall a pretty crudy day for the Internet, but no reports on
CNN which I saw. I guess that means it was a successful day.
-Sean Donelan, NANOG
Water, electrons, and IP packets all want to follow the path of
least resistance.
-ibid
You can no more create a computer program to block out one community's
view of 'indecency' or 'obscenity' than you can devise a filtering program
to block out misguided proposals by members of Congress. Both may be desirable,
but neither are possible.
-Barry Steinhardt, EFF
I think there are only three things America will be known for
2,000 years from now when they study this civilization: the Constitution,
jazz music, and baseball.
-Gerald Early, writer, baseball documentary, 1994
I vote for beer.
-Phillip Jimeno, Maryland state senator, on his recommendation for
the official state drink, 1997.
There is a bunch to do, I just have to do it.. ah well..
-Ben DeVore
I'm bigger, greyer, and older, but just as funny and full of shit
as ever.
-Jim Steinkrauss
Oh, what a country. I’m having a good time.
-Sammy Sosa, 1998
Economic theory means nothing to an armed kid strung out on drugs.
-David Beroff
My job basically sucks, but it beats working for a living and
pays more than bar-tending at Maartens.
-Bill Pemberton
So perhaps the factor constraining the Internet's growth is "good
taste."
-Paul Vixie
"Where were you when Mark McGwire hit #62?"
"I was at band practice, piss off!"
-Tina Harris
You can have a million dollars in the bank, but what is that going
to do for you?
-Tim Forneris, after giving Mark McGwire his 62nd home run ball back.
Languages are different, but technologies are common!
-Takashi Arano, NTT
Fuckit. Postit.
-Sean Mike, giving advice on how to participate in mailing list discussions.
Your credibility is shot.
-Anonymous Senator to Bill Clinton, 9/10/98
The freedom of speech in debate in the House of Representatives
should never be denied or abridged. But freedom of speech in debate does
not mean license to indulge in personal abuses or ridicule.
-Speaker Newt Gingrich
I'm ranting right now, please hold.
-SeanMike Whipkey
The best use of the Internet for political purposes is to educate
the public about the process, the issues, the candidates, availability
of services, legislative activities. Us little people out here in the boonies
might begin to feel involved again, not just manipulated.
-Susan Soderberg, Hawaiian Court Reporter
I know that President Clinton is not above the law. Neither is
he beneath the law, so due process must be honored.
-Rev. Jesse Jackson
However, some nagging problems remain for the president. Foremost
among them is that the "I have sinned" strategy is generally regarded by
legal scholars as falling somewhat short of an absolute defense for perjury,
obstruction of justice, witness tampering, and abuse of power.
-Jay Severin, MSNBC
Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum
saxum immane mittam.
[I have a catapult. Give me all the money or I will fling an enormous
rock at your head.]
-Kirk Andrews
Driving through Canada is kind of boring, but you do what you
have to.
-Scott Macbeth
Kegs are key.
-Michael Fuchs
I'm perfectly happy to spend my old age sitting in a drunken stupor
in the stands. It'd be nice to hear some jokes once again though.
-Noel Munson
If this is what we see from a major backbone, what should we expect
from Joe's ISP and Steak House in Mudfest Wyoming?
-Marc Slemko, NANOG
I've read more Roman graffiti than anybody I know, and *they*
never stooped to this level.
-David Boyes on the Starr Report
Are we becoming adults?
-Jim Steinkrauss (9/98)
Life has been interesting to me.. good friends, fun times, bad
times, etc.. overall.. two thumbs up.. I think that it will do good in
the box office.. Let's see what the sequel brings..
-Ben DeVore
Sometimes we all need a break, life is ups and downs, you know.
Step over one and trip over the next.
-Scott Macbeth
We're about ready to go to war, and I love war.
-George Steinbrenner at the end of the Yankees' '98 regular season
The thing about Bleacher Creatures is, we're very resourceful.
There isn't a ticket shortage or a pesticide that can contain us, or keep
us from breeding.
-Filip Bondy, New York Daily News
Fortunately for me, I have no integrity.
-Roseanne Barr
Sex is good. Drugs make me tired. And Rock and Roll I can take
or leave.
- Tom Walton
Get ready for a raw display of democracy.
-Jay Severin, on Impeachment Proceedings in the House
After a reading of the Starr report I am impressed by the salacious
and voyeuristic nature of your work.
-Larry Flynt in a letter to Ken Starr
The courage of friendships are in the attempts.
-Mike Carter (quoting somebody)
Only people sensitive enough to find the evil lurking in a Disney
animated film can appreciate Jesus' love of the mobile home.
-From "Great Mobile Homes of Mississippi"
The results of the U.S. Government's continued 135 years of punishing
White Southerners has resulted in their being forced to live in mobile
homes.
-Email reacting to "Great Mobile Homes of Mississippi"
We went on like this, walking that thin line between bad taste
and very bad taste, as we do on a nightly basis.
-Filip Bondy
Go hoos for low threat, high per diem wars!
-Jeff Sgarlata
Vague references to a bus trip, drinking, and puking do *not*
make for a unique context in which I can figure out what you're talking
about. It's like saying, "You remember that day you were breathing?" or
"Remember that time you banged that chick?". It just doesn't distinguish
itself from the hundreds of such occasions.
-George Weilacher
News for nerds. Stuff that matters.
-Slashdot.org slogan
Downtown Richmond is all about well-dressed southern aristocracy
and slow, graceful decay.
-Chris "Wahoo" Wiegand
At bottom, the Open Source movement is an expression of the Western
academic tradition, innovation and discovery through the free exchange
of ideas.
-Tim O'Reilly
Well, first of all I'd like to say fuck off.
-Reel Big Fish, "You Don't Know"
The lasting tribute to Jon Postel is that the shit worked.
-Paul Vixie
But I think I'll just have to suck it up and go on sheer bravado.
As usual.
-Luciana Lopez
November 10, 1998
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